Page 14 - 2016 Autumn-Winter Issue

© Chepko Danil/fotolia.com The Evolution

of Grieving

by Nora Yood

July 30th marked the ninth anniversary of my son
David’s death. Since that day, I have been mourning
his loss. I am not being morbid or hyperbolic; just
descriptive, stating a fact. I suffer Perpetual Sorrow
Syndrome, the unquenchable yearning for a lost loved
one which has become a chronic condition hardwired
into the mental infrastructure. Yet as time passes, our
relationship—the bond between David and me— has
changed. I have learned to practice managed mourning.
I see my progress as the evolution of grieving.

In many ways the loss of my child is more concrete
today than it was earlier in the cycle of mourning
where returning to some approximation of normalcy
was overwhelming. For a long while, the finality of
him being gone forever could not be comprehended. I
imagined him entering into the house, saw him on the
street, and heard his voice. These apprehensions seemed
so tangible. Often, I had dreams in which I was able to
intervene and reverse the outcome of his fate. Real life
was the nightmare I woke up to. During this period, I
was negotiating a foreign territory where the physical
environment was recognizable, but not familiar. I felt
constantly disoriented and frightened, a sense of dread

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