Page 10 - 2016 Autumn-Winter Issue

© Biletskiy Evgeniy/fotolia.com
A Special Loss
Living with the Loss of a Special Needs Child
by David Hines
I do not believe there is any experience in life as traumatic
or life altering as the loss of a child. The loss of a special
needs child often brings a unique twist to this excruciating
experience.
Those who have not been lucky enough (yes I said lucky
enough) to have a special needs child in their life may not
understand the unique circumstances that are presented by
such a situation. Most parents, despite themselves, when
they learn they are to be parents start to dream about the
life of their new offspring. Nobody envisions their baby as
less then perfect, their child’s life as less then blessed. When
parents learn their child has developmental issues, disorders
that will equate to “special needs” all its life, they are thrown and great achievements that few others even noticed. The
into a state of grieving for both their child and themselves.
This is true for every parent whenever they learn this
news. It may be at birth or even in the womb, or later as
development lags or an injury or disease creates damage to
the brain or central nervous system. Most overcome this
and begin to do the work needed to give their child the best
life possible.
1 0 |We Need Not Walk Alone
It is indeed hard work to care for a special needs child. It
can consume every minute of every day and result in a life
given only to the needs of that child. Every parent faced
with this does what they can as they are capable physically
and emotionally. That child and its care becomes your life,
in many cases quite literally. But those parents are rewarded.
It is incredible to see the world through the eyes of one
of these children. My daughter was that child. Nobody or
anything I have ever experienced in life taught me more
than my daughter Erin did. No matter how hard my day
was, coming home to Erin and her smile made everything
right and the world brighter. I was able to marvel at small
things that because of her I realized were major experiences
world with Erin in it was brighter, happier, filled with hope
and offered more opportunity than we probably deserved.
That is the beauty of a special needs child. Others may
see them as needing and taking but those of us fortunate
enough to live in their presence understand they are mostly
giving. When these special people give they also give with