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Grief and the African American

During times of grief, African Americans often draw upon a rich tapestry of support systems, including religious and spiritual faith, family, friends, and community networks. This communal approach can provide solace and strength, yet the stages of grief experienced by…

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How Ought a Man to Grieve the Loss of His Child?

Firefighting is inherently dangerous, and it remains, primarily, a man’s work. Yes, women are increasingly joining the US Fire Service, but to this day the profession of firefighting is represented by an overwhelmingly male demographic. I am a man and…

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Just a Stepmom

From the time I was old enough to play “house,” I knew I wanted to be a mom. However, time passed, and it seemed it wasn’t meant to be. I was almost 40 when the love of my life walked…

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A Complicated Journey

It is generally acknowledged that the loss of a child is one of the most, if not the most difficult and devastating losses that one can experience. The loss of a child defies the laws of nature. Despite the child’s…

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Post Traumatic Growth

The shock and the pain blew me out of my world. All of the necessary activity of those days kept me connected with others, those who knew and cared. Then, all of the rituals of death were over. Everyone went…

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Limp Stockings and Empty Chairs

The holiday season after a loved one dies is exhausting. It is exhausting because the poignancy of each ornament, stocking, favorite dessert, and Christmas tree farm outing, crystallizes the pain of their absence and their continued presence in relentlessly concrete,…

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I Loathed the First Christmas After My Brother Died

I felt like the strands of jewel-toned lights were taunting me, the ads flashing symbols of family and love and togetherness. The tumbling of decades of holiday memories rising in my mind: the time my brother and I secretly opened…

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The Most Complicated Time of the Year

Here we are again, amid the longest and most complex holiday season of all. This time of the year puts a multi-colored spotlight on every one that is missing in your life and all the parts of your life that…

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Grief Takes Time or Does It

At first, there’s a flood of “I’m so sorry” variations as soon as you mention the loss of your child. It’s only been a few weeks since you said goodbye. These common condolences, while considered thoughtful, seem to fall quite…

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Some Suggestions for Thanksgiving

Throughout our lives, expectation of things to come is based upon past experiences. If, in the past you had set a glorious table and were the perfect host or hostess, it is very possible that friends and family will expect…

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