As long as it takes; that’s how long it takes. It’s not about forgetting. It’s about hurting.
And I know that if I am alive twenty years from now, and I happen to look at a blue sky with puffy clouds and think of my son, Fred—and figure how old he’d be, what he’d be doing and what his children would be doing—I’ll hurt.
And know that if I can switch my train of thought from what is not, to what was, a happy memory, I’ll be able to smile through the tears. We don’t stop hurting, ever. But so many things occur each day. So many events and thoughts and happenings intervene, that our focus is shifted. The death of our child changes from the main concern in our life, to one of many.
A life may stop; but the loving goes on. To love deeply is to be vulnerable…for all our days.
Joan S. ~ TCF, Central Jersey Chapter
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