Page 12 - 2016 Spring-Summer Issue

Searching for Joy

A survivor’s story of moving on, attempting
to live again while anchored to the past

by Tina Zarlenga

© mimadeo/Fotolia.com

Darkness arrives without her knowing as she sits if this will dislodge the sadness, she recalls the tear
quietly mourning her thoughts. The shadows in as it slid down his face, devastating her further.
the room fade into memories of the past, the place
she often hesitates as she attempts again to push He died before her, in her arms as she cradled
away the anguish in search of the joy she desires. him, saying goodbye while the shock clung to
her breath. There were no words to console her;
Avoiding all awareness of the mirror, she rejects his life was ending and all that swirled within her
the image before her, no longer recognizing was an invitation to join him.
who she has become, as the tears come calling
again. Tired of stumbling regularly, she leans There was no time to question our lives in search
into the hurt that betrayed her, longing for a of a remedy. No time to call in a team of experts
breakthrough not cloaked in sadness. for help. When loss occurs everything is stripped
away. Nothing arrives, just in time, no remedy to
Fractured recollections are carved deep within, fix him, no lifeline to save her, the life they once
cutting through the skin in a tattoo, scars shared flutters into a memory, and time continues
engraved on your heart, casting a wound with slipping away.
images engrained in her soul. Shaking her head, as
1 2 |We Need Not Walk Alone