Page 17 - 2016 Spring-Summer Issue
P. 17

Vacation brochures begin to appear and plans are discussed to make new ones. HA! I thought grief would end at some

in anticipation of summer.                                  point. The books all say it will… everyone else looks like

Spring is the reawakening season… the great wake up call their grief has subsided… how come spring missed us?!

for the earth. Somewhere, someone is answering that get up A season without hope is the ultimate in despair and I’ve

call… greeting the new season with vim, vigor, and vitality. spent too many such seasons. Where does hope go and how

There are smiles and renewed energy and hope seems to       do I get it back?

simply float on the softened air. Somewhere… all of that    Hope is that elusive something that keeps us moving, even

is occurring, but not within me. It’s still snowing inside my in the dark. We are only powerless when we have no hope,
being. It’s still winter
                                                                               no vision, no faith in
inside here and there
aren’t any tulips about to   Hope changes as we do and it can be so            our own abilities. We
burst open in my spirit.     disguised that we may not recognize it,           may be helpless at times.
I’ve still got my snow       but it can be found — in the moments of           We may question the
boots on and the sun                                                           arrival of spring but we
hasn’t quite made it to                     our memories.                      are only truly powerless
                                                                               when we have no hope
my world. It’s still winter
                                                                               no dreams…
inside me… I wonder if spring will ever come.
                                                            Don’t lose the hope! Search for it! Fight for it! Demand its
Oh, there have been moments of spring in the past.
Wonderful, warm fleeting moments; moments when I            return. Hope changes as we do and it can be so disguised
                                                            that we may not recognize it, but it can be found -- in the
“forgot” about the pain, the emptiness, the despair, the grief. moments of our memories. We probably won’t ever have
Moments when the world was right side up and the music totally happy lives again… We probably didn’t have that
made me dance. But they were only moments and I’m
                                                            kind of life anyway; we just thought we did.
waiting for spring to arrive in me.
                                                            Don’t let death rob you of the moments of joy still to be
Hope… the major ingredient in spring, seems to elude
                                                            remembered, and found. Don’t let grief rob you of those
my grasp. Just when I think there might be some hope, a
                                                            spring places where love and joy live forever in the heart.
memory comes creeping across my soul and it’s winter again Somewhere it is spring… Deal with the anger, the guilt, the
in my heart. It’s this lack of hope that seems especially cruel depression as it comes and then let it go as you can… so
during springtime. I thought this winter inside me would
                                                            there is room for joy to come again. Let hope come in… it’s
end and I was looking forward to a more peaceful time in
my life. I thought we would settle down, plant a garden     spring.

and live our life filled with memories and the opportunity

I began to find hope in nature. In sunsets and gentle breezes. In lapping waves and the first flowers of
spring. In thunderstorms and falling snow. But especially in creatures. In the exuberant affection of dogs
and the less exuberant affection of cats. In hummingbirds at a feeder. In woodpeckers drumming the side of
a tree. In the songs of robins. The wonders of the animal world give me hope.

                                                                                                     Peggi Johnson, Jordan’s mom
                                                                                                       TCF Piedmont, VA Chapter

                                                                                                       We Need Not Walk Alone|1 7
   12   13   14   15   16   17   18   19   20   21   22