How can I possibly tell you how much I miss you? But of course you probably know – since you knew me better than anyone. No matter how much time passes, I still wish you were here to share our lives and the future I expected us to have together.
Even though we fought and at times neglected each other, I just assumed that you would always be there. That we’d grow old together and remember stories of growing up and laugh at each other as we looked and acted more like our parents. That we’d share our joys and setbacks, and adore each other’s children.
Your death has rocked me harder than I could imagine I’d survive. Ultimately, there are no answers to my questions. There is no replacing you and there is no solace for my grief.
There is only the simple choice I make every day to live on in the honor of your memory and the love we shared. To strive to carry on the best of who you were. To cherish the brief time we have with others. To celebrate the opportunity to be alive. To have compassion for the pain of others as well as my own. To have the courage to love fully as I have loved you and to remember that you would want me to go on and find joy again.
You gave me so many gifts while you were alive and I continue to discover the gifts in this loss. I am so thankful you were born my sibling. I would not have traded our time together for anything. You are always with me because you are a part of me.
