Page 13 - 2018 Spring Issue

I have chosen to go through this unthinkable tragedy with what we can control has made our grieving journey not
hope. Andrea was a very spiritual being, who always trusted only bearable, but it has become a way of life that we are
the Universe. I am choosing to trust the path chosen for her embracing.
and for us by the Universe. Just by thinking this way, I know
she is proud of us, and THAT makes me smile and brings It is our Option B.
me joy. Married for over 30 years to her Danish soulmate, Ghislaine is the mother
of three grown daughters Stephanie, Andrea and Elizabeth. Born in Nice
She did not go in vain, and my new purpose in life is to France, she came to Houston in 1981, and has had a long real estate career
continue her legacy, and to give hope to those who are lost, alongside her husband for the better part of her adult life. Her life changed
as I once was, not so long forever in July of 2015, when
ago. her beautiful daughter Andrea,
age 24, was tragically killed in a
We, as a family, so often I have chosen to go through this road accident. With the support
hear her words of wisdom of The Compassionate Friends,
resonate in our hearts unthinkable tragedy with hope. her family has tried to turn a
– “Trust the Universe,
© Sondem/stock.adobe.com surround yourself with their chapter, and Ghislaine has consistently stayed involved with TCF. They
tragic situation into a hopeful
and productive life. Their eldest
positive energy, and you
daughter started a sibling group in
will find joy, even in adversity”. Before she received her
angel wings, I did not fully grasp what she meant; I was too
are devoted to helping others, and as of January 2018, she has become the co-

only I, but all four of us, have been in tune with our feelings,
and spirituality has brought her to accepting her fate, and freed her to help
What is Our Option B? busy to notice what she really meant. Since her passing, not leader of their growing chapter in Katy, Texas. She has found that love, hope
other bereaved parents. Real estate is Ghislaine’s career, providing support to
our thoughts, and the life lessons that Andrea taught us.
parents in her situation is now her mission.
Learning to cut out the negativity in our lives, and control
by Ghislaine Thomsen

We are over the halfway mark to five years, and it gives openly about my Andrea, in a manner that is not sad. How I Found Hope ...
me the chills to think about the reality of our new life. We Keeping her beautiful soul alive by writing about her,
are NOT over it, as some may think. We never will be, laughing at the great memories we cherish as a family, © Tomasz Zajda/fotolia.com
of course. We try to figure out how to walk through the and always putting love first and letting people know that Hope is a word I couldn’t bring myself to say for many months after losing my daughter
darkness, while trying to have a productive life. it is okay to talk about her. I have consistently done this Evelyn. And I won’t pretend I’ve embraced it in the way so many people use it. Much
since July 4, 2015 and I have witnessed how engaging
I think about this book, Option B: Facing Adversity, people can be. We have to remember that once upon a about losing a child feels hopeless. I had to stop thinking about hope the way I did while
Building Resilience, and Finding Joy, written by Facebook time, we were these people who did not know what to
COO, Sheryl Sandberg, after the sudden passing of her say, so it is okay to help them understand. Evelyn was alive in order to make my peace with it. I had to redefine it completely.
husband. I relate to what Sheryl Sanders wrote. When we Hope, to me, has become the possibility that we might meet again on the other side of
are faced with tragedy, we have to make some decisions This process has strengthened me in a way I did not
that are unthinkable! How can we possibly go on? How know possible. Why? Because keeping her memory alive this life. Not the certainty, not the guarantee, just the potential. It is the ineffable grip of
can we get out of bed, work, talk to people, and go on allows me to grieve with a lot of love, a lot of tenderness.
with our lives? This goes for bereaved parents, siblings, It allows me to feel her next to me. the heart on the tender object of its desire. It is the willingness to wait, to try, when you
grandparents, and spouses. There is no discrimination have every reason not to. It is the ability of love to quell the chaos within and without
when it comes to grief. My husband, our daughters and I all grieve differently,
as I have often written, but we have one thing in the eternal song of the heart subduing the beast of grief.
Like the author of this book, I have found that facing common – the love and the memories of Andrea and the
my grief head on, while difficult, has allowed me to go unbreakable desire to honor her, act in a way to make Anna Sweat, Evelyn’s Mom
through the stages of grief and accept the unimaginable her proud, and continue her legacy. We are smiling and www.forloveofevelyn.com
situation of becoming a bereaved mom. I thought that if laughing, all four of us are; the smiles are starting to be TCF of the Woodlands, TX
people were uncomfortable talking to me about my child real and the joy is starting to come back. It is different,
I would make it a point to open the dialog. Speaking but it exists.

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