Page 20 - 2018 Spring Issue

(continued from page 19) Memories of Love, Melodies of Hope
before I knew how easy it was to lose a part of you in the Victoria is the mother of Ben Spotts, IV, her oldest son, who died in the
blink of an eye. I have more compassion, I love deeper, and summer of 2016 in a head-on vehicle collision at the age of 21. She lives
I appreciate every little instant I have with my remaining in Canton, GA with her husband, mother, and three of her remaining by Pamela Hagens
children. I try to live in the moment, and seek every five children. She is a Radiology Technologist, a real estate agent, and
opportunity to say “yes” to an adventure where I can take grandmother to two with one more on the way.
Ben along with me in spirit. Victoria belongs to the Marietta Chapter of The Compassionate Friends where
she is the newsletter editor and small group facilitator. She has started a local
Through this journey, I have slowly begun to see in color grassroots outreach program for newly bereaved mothers, where she tries to
again, and have learned that happiness is not something make contact and present information within the first month of their child’s
that you can find by seeking, but rather a choice; a shift in loss. She is also the editor of Live On, Vilomah, a new site currently being
perspective that only you can make. There is hope. Let go of developed in dedication to bereaved parents seeking to honor their children
the guilt and live for your baby. through positive living, while inspiring and giving hope to others in our tribe.

You got this.

Connect with Other Bereaved Parents, Grandparents, and © stocksnapper / stock.adobe.com

Siblings Everyday on TCF’s Online Support Community © believeinme33/fotolia.com

The Compassionate Friends offers “virtual Chapters” through an Online Support Community (live chats).
This program was established to encourage connecting and sharing among parents, grandparents, and You are there and I am here I am told, that Love is not lost, and the melody of Hope will
siblings (over the age of 18) grieving the death of a child. The rooms supply support, encouragement, and write new lyrics upon my heart.
friendship. The friendly atmosphere encourages conversation among friends; friends who understand the And I ask the question;
emotions you’re experiencing. There are general bereavement sessions as well as more specific sessions: How do I keep going when the memories are too painful I am cautioned that the loss will always be, but the
memories of Love will rescue and sustain me;
Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday and the melody has stopped?
9:00 - 10:00 AM EST(open 9:00 - 10:00 PM EST 9:00 - 10:00 PM EST 8:00 - 9:00 PM EST How can I dance when the music has been muted? I am reminded that the melody of Hope will sing again, for
depending on moderator Bereaved Less than Two Years Parents/Grandparents/Siblings No Surviving Children they are connected; the memories, the love, the melody, the
availability) 9:00 - 10:00 PM EST 9:00 - 10:00 PM EST There are moments – silent moments, unusual moments- hope.
Parents/Grandparents/Siblings that I find myself watching life, not participating, but a
Bereaved More than Two Years Parents/Grandparents/Siblings So I am determined that I will find my way.
9:00 - 10:00 PM EST spectator watching a hard-fought competitive match. I
Parents/Grandparents/Siblings watch, rooting for no one. I will step out on the dance floor of life once again.

Friday Saturday Sunday I watch from a far distance, where everything is blurry and I will find my way, with the encouraged whispers of those
10:00 - 11:00 AM EST (open 9:00 - 10:00 PM EST 8:00 - 9:00 PM EST small. who impart wisdom and patience.
depending on moderator Parents/Grandparents/Siblings Survivors of Suicide
availability) 10:00 - 11:00 PM EST 9:00 - 10:00 PM EST How do I welcome the memories, where are the melodies? I am determined- so I trust that hope will invite me to slow
Parents/Grandparents/Siblings Parents/Grandparents/Siblings Parents/Grandparents/Siblings I am told to start somewhere- so I look at one picture today, dance to the music in my soul.
9:00 - 10:00 PM EST I reflect upon one memory today. I am determined – so I trust that the Memories of Love will
Pregnancy/Infant Loss lead me to Melodies of Hope
9:00 - 10:30 PM EST I am told, in time I will navigate the rough, choppy currents
Parents/Grandparents/Siblings with increased strength.
Visit www.compassionatefriends.org/find-support/online-communities/online-support/ for Pamela and her husband, Christopher of 26 years, live in Tennessee. On July 5, 2013, their eldest son (19) transitioned in a sudden, tragic accident. Two
more information and to register.
months after their son’s passing, Pamela attended her first TCF Chapter meeting in Nashville. Pamela has been very active in the local Chapter; participating
in book share panels, national conference review panels, poetry readings at Candle Lightening Memorials, numerous newsletter entries, as well as reaching out
to newly bereaved, and sharing encouragement to bereaved families through her writings titled “Reflections.” Christopher and Pamela have two other sons and
one granddaughter. Pamela is a running enthusiast, group fitness instructor, avid reader and writer.
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