Page 32 - 2017 Autumn-Winter Issue

An Update from the Director
of Chapter Services
by Terry Novy
Diversity ~ What Does It Mean to You?
When I Googled the definition of Diversity I found many
definitions; I like this explanation:
It means understanding that each individual is unique, and
recognizing our individual differences. These can be along.
the dimensions of race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation,
socio-economic status, age, physical abilities, religious beliefs, matter the situation, truly feel accepted when they attend
political beliefs, or other ideologies.
What does Diversity mean to TCF?
The mission statement of The Compassionate Friends was
designed to describe the very inclusive nature of a very
exclusive organization. What does this mean? A child,
sibling or grandchild must have died in order for family
members to join, but there are no other special criteria that
must be met in order to be a member and attend meetings.
Question: Is your Chapter being inclusive to all members
or are you exclusive and offer support within your comfort
zone? All TCF Chapters must be 100% supportive to
all; remember Diversity starts at the Chapter level. The
following list should be reviewed twice a year to assure your
Chapter is inclusive toward all persons:
• Parents, siblings, grandparents
• Those who are newly bereaved, (1 day/week/years)
• Those who are grieving a miscarriage or stillbirth
• Those that are many years down the road, and have
never grieved their loss
• Parents who are senior citizens when their child died
• Family members of various ethnicities, races, cultures
and/or traditions
• Adoptive/foster parents and stepparents
• Those of various faiths or no religious faith
• Single and divorced
• Those grieving a child who died from stigmatized losses
such as, but not limited to: AIDS, suicide, substance
related, homicide or mental illness
• Those who others may feel contributed to their child’s death
• Parents who have experienced multiple losses, have lost
all their children, or their only child
• Men (in our society, men often struggle to express their
emotions openly)
3 2 |We Need Not Walk Alone
• Same sex parents,
(LGBQT) Lesbian,
Gay, Bisexual,
Queer/Questioning,
Transgender/
Transsexual
community
When you review this
list, think about whether all bereaved family members, no
your meetings. It is the Chapter leadership’s responsibility to
make everyone feel welcome.
• Work with the steering committee and discuss ways to
ensure your chapter in improving in diversity.
• Have Greeters at meetings to welcome everyone;
introduce new members and offer brochures that apply
to their situation.
• Make sure that Grandparents and Siblings are made
to feel welcome; their grief is different but equally
important.
• Familiarize the leadership team about different losses
so they can be a good support system. It is important to
learn about causes of death such as homicide, suicide,
substance related causes, etc. This increases sensitivity to
the grievers and educate chapter members. It is imperative
that all members are supported and not judged.
• Plan programs where the members break into smaller
groups to discuss a variety of topics that don’t apply to
all. When the group unites share a small summary of
your discussion to educate all members and help them
understand the need for understanding and acceptance.
For example: Tonight we shared about the importance of
not being judged because our loss is substance related.
• Having a male member of leadership begin the sharing
sessions is a great way of saying “Men are Welcome”. Plan
a “Men Only” sharing session or special get together; this
will allow all to be comfortable with their sharing.
• Open a meeting with a ritual such as reading the credo,
which is an effectively points out that TCF is inclusive.
The group looks to the members of leadership to set
the tone; remind the group that TCF supports parents,
grandparents and siblings regardless of their age, cause
of death, cultural or religious backgrounds.