Page 18 - 2017 Spring-Summer Issue
P. 18
How Many Children
Do You Have?
by Kelly Kittel
©MNStudio / stock.adobe.com
“Let’s pretend we’re at a cocktail party. It’s 5 o’clock my red cowboy boots carrying a glass of chilled chardonnay.
somewhere, right? I figured my “prop” might come in handy and it definitely
We’re meeting for the first time and getting to know each improved the rehearsals!
other. We’ve learned that we’re both parents, so one of the How many kids do I have? As I continued, “And I’ll give you
very first questions you’ll probably ask me is, “How many this quick answer—five. The conversation will move on, most
kids do you have?” likely with me telling you all about my five children and you
Thus begins my TEDx talk, “Why We Should Share Our telling me all about yours. We’ll smile and sip our wine and
Stories”. But it has also been the story of my life for the past you’ll never know that your simple question has just kicked
two decades since our fourth child, Noah, died when he was me in the belly. Or that I feel like I’ve just lied to you.”
15 months old. In the beginning, this question struck me I do believe lying is a sin but, as I justify my public
silent with grief and it became even more gut wrenching confession, “Because, I rarely give the correct answer to that
when people would coo it over and over again as my belly question. Usually, I sidestep it. I don’t want to watch your face
grew with the promise of our next bundle of joy. Nine crumple or hear you say, “I’m so sorry,” like so many, many
months later, it would bring me to my knees, the answer others before you. I like to have fun and I want to keep things
completely inconceivable when Jonah was stillborn. lighthearted. But every time I do that? I feel guilty. Because
So when the opportunity to present a TEDx talk arose, I do believe we should share our stories. Maybe not while
this seemed like a good place to begin. TED stands for standing in the grocery store checkout line or with a glass of
Technology, Entertainment, Design and their tagline—ideas wine in our hand. But somewhere, sometime, someway...
worth spreading—speaks for itself, their goal to cultivate Given that I’ve had 13 pregnancies remaindering 5 living
and share ideas. I wanted people to understand why that children, it’s really more of a little white lie. I’ve become
seemingly innocent question strikes fear in the hearts of quite adept at softening the blow when delivering my math
bereaved parents. And I liked the idea of stepping onstage in equation in a diversity of settings and this was the idea I
1 8 |We Need Not Walk Alone