Page 14 - 2017 Spring-Summer Issue
P. 14

© Bastos /                               Do It For Brian

                                                         by Lisa Heath

                                                         The quality of one’s life is not determined by length but
                                                         by depth…what that person brought to this world while
                                                         they were here. I can proudly say that in the 17 years that
                                                         my son Brian was here on earth that he brought so much
                                                         to so many.
                                                         My story began on August 29, 1997, the day I was
                                                         blessed with this beautiful brown-haired, blue-eyed baby
                                                         boy…the happiest day of my life. Fast forward  17 years
                                                         later to November 7, 2014, the day my son was in an auto
                                                         accident and did not survive. The day my life, as I knew
                                                         it, would be changed…forever.
                                                         The day started off like any other morning. I woke up,
                                                         got ready for work, and woke up Brian for school. Brian
                                                         came downstairs while I was drinking coffee, all wet in
                                                         his towel, asking me to iron his clothes for school that
                                                         day.  I, as usual, said “okay”.  As I was ironing his clothes,
                                                         I had a package sitting on the kitchen counter that was
                                                         delivered the prior evening. New black boots. I told
                                                         Brian, as I was ironing, that he could open the box for
                                                         me. He opened the box and started laughing and says,
                                                         “Mom, really…these are ugly”. I come in the kitchen and,
                                                         my God, they were. We are both laughing and I burst out
                                                         into song and sang, “These boots are made for walking,
                                                         and that’s just what they’ll do. One of these days these
                                                         boots are going to walk all over you” and as I’m singing
                                                         I’m poking Brian. We’re laughing. As he is laughing,
                                                         he hugs me and says “I love you”. Looking back now at
                                                         that morning, I cherish that hug, as it was the last time I
                                                         would ever hug my son. I get in my car, Brian gets in his
                                                         car, and as I look at him he signs, “I love you” with his
                                                         hands. I signal back. Little did I know that a few hours
                                                         later Brian would be gone. 
                                                         The following weeks and months, I just did not know
                                                         how I was going to do this; how to live my life without
                                                         him, as if I even wanted to. Each day was filled with
                                                         endless crying, and the why him and how could this
                                                         happen to such an amazing young man with his entire
                                                         life in front of him. He was supposed to be getting ready
                                                         to graduate high school in June, not be gone! Brian is my
                                                life…my purpose. What is life without him?  
                                                         And then it happened about six months later…  the first
                                                         time I laughed. I paused and thought to myself, how
                                                         can I be laughing? My son is gone and I’m laughing. I
                                                         felt guilty. But then I realized my laughing didn’t mean

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