Page 14 - 2017 Spring-Summer Issue

© Bastos / stock.adobe.com Do It For Brian

by Lisa Heath

The quality of one’s life is not determined by length but
by depth…what that person brought to this world while
they were here. I can proudly say that in the 17 years that
my son Brian was here on earth that he brought so much
to so many.
My story began on August 29, 1997, the day I was
blessed with this beautiful brown-haired, blue-eyed baby
boy…the happiest day of my life. Fast forward 17 years
later to November 7, 2014, the day my son was in an auto
accident and did not survive. The day my life, as I knew
it, would be changed…forever.
The day started off like any other morning. I woke up,
got ready for work, and woke up Brian for school. Brian
came downstairs while I was drinking coffee, all wet in
his towel, asking me to iron his clothes for school that
day. I, as usual, said “okay”. As I was ironing his clothes,
I had a package sitting on the kitchen counter that was
delivered the prior evening. New black boots. I told
Brian, as I was ironing, that he could open the box for
me. He opened the box and started laughing and says,
“Mom, really…these are ugly”. I come in the kitchen and,
my God, they were. We are both laughing and I burst out
into song and sang, “These boots are made for walking,
and that’s just what they’ll do. One of these days these
boots are going to walk all over you” and as I’m singing
I’m poking Brian. We’re laughing. As he is laughing,
he hugs me and says “I love you”. Looking back now at
that morning, I cherish that hug, as it was the last time I
would ever hug my son. I get in my car, Brian gets in his
car, and as I look at him he signs, “I love you” with his
hands. I signal back. Little did I know that a few hours
later Brian would be gone.
The following weeks and months, I just did not know
how I was going to do this; how to live my life without
him, as if I even wanted to. Each day was filled with
endless crying, and the why him and how could this
happen to such an amazing young man with his entire
life in front of him. He was supposed to be getting ready
to graduate high school in June, not be gone! Brian is my
world...my life…my purpose. What is life without him?
And then it happened about six months later… the first
time I laughed. I paused and thought to myself, how
can I be laughing? My son is gone and I’m laughing. I
felt guilty. But then I realized my laughing didn’t mean

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