Bob and Mary LaneSimon Stephens Award
The Simon Stephens Award is the highest national honor of The Compassionate Friends. It is named for Simon Stephens, the hospital chaplain who founded TCF in 1969.
On February 5, 2009, residents of Central Florida faced a record-setting deep freeze. But that day, Bob and Mary Lane faced a far colder, harder reality. Their middle child, Amanda, succumbed to the ravages of breast cancer. Two months later, Bob and Mary stepped anxiously into their first meeting of TCF’s Space Coast Chapter.
There, the Lanes would find their refuge, their passion, and their call to service.
Mary quickly became an energetic volunteer and was elected as Co-Chapter Leader in 2012. She then guided the Chapter as its sole leader in 2013, after her co-lead suddenly died. Bob also volunteered for Chapter offices, first as Secretary and then as Treasurer. The Space Coast Chapter thrived, serving one of the nation’s fastest-growing counties.
In 2014, Bob and Mary were asked to become Coordinators for the newly formed Central Florida Region. They went on to chair the 2017 Annual Conference, the first-ever held in Orlando. Through it all, the Lanes kept a sharp focus on their home Chapter. Mary in particular became known for her highly personal outreach to hurting TCF families—and for her drive in rallying long-time TCF members to the aid of newcomers.
Then came the COVID-19 epidemic, and the seismic shift to virtual meetings. The Space Coast Chapter responded to surging demand by moving to weekly Zoom meetings. These became an oasis for many and a lifeline for some, engaging bereaved families across the Americas. One father in Brazil, reeling from the murder of his son, credited Mary and Bob with saving his life.
In 2020, Bob was asked to join TCF’s Board of Directors and took on a complex but essential project: streamlining and modernizing TCF’s bylaws. Bob was elected as TCF Board Vice President in 2022 and President in 2023. Highlights of his leadership include increased Chapter support, greater online outreach, a smooth CEO transition, and the development of a strategic plan to guide TCF through the next decade. With this strategic plan now firmly underway, Bob decided to retire from the Board earlier this year.
Mary continues to guide the Space Coast Chapter, with more than 500 meetings held under her leadership. Her compassion for those who face the unthinkable is best summarized in her first TCF newsletter, where, in 2013, she wrote, ”…the pain of the newly bereaved is heartbreaking, but somehow I am drawn to that expression of raw emotion, hoping I can be of help to those in such deep pain.”
Since that cold day of Amanda’s death, Bob and Mary Lane have worked without tiring to warm and enrich the lives of thousands of bereaved family members. The Lanes personify TCF’s mission—to find all who need us, and help all who find us. They fully merit TCF’s highest honor: The 2026 Simon Stephens Award.
TCF Professional Award
Each year, through its Professional Award, TCF’s honors an outstanding individual or team engaged in the fields of grief research, counseling and support. This year’s Awardee is the Open to Hope Foundation, a nonprofit organization co-founded by internationally known grief experts and psychotherapists Dr. Heidi Horsley and her mother, Dr. Gloria Horsley.
Launched in 2008, Open to Hope has emerged as a premier online forum for those suffering the pain of grief and seeking healing and hope after a loss of any type. The foundation’s website, OpenToHope.com, embraces those who want to share their stories of love, loss and hope, as well as those who seek accessible, research-based information on coping with the complexity of grief. Open to Hope now offers more than 7,000 curated articles on grief, written by more than 500 authors, along with books, blogs, and digital resources. To date, Open to Hope resources have been read or viewed by more than two million people in 26 countries.
Besides an annual conference and a weekly podcast, the foundation also sponsors Open to Hope TV, an award-winning television show devoted entirely to issues of the bereaved. Hosted by the foundation’s Executive Director, Dr. Heidi Horsley, the show is filmed at the Manhattan Neighborhood Network, a public access channel whose offerings reach 20 million viewers in New York City and beyond. Earlier this year, Open to Hope TV celebrated its 260th episode. Guests on the program have included the world’s foremost experts in grief research and outreach, as well as hundreds of ordinary people sharing inspirational stories of hope and healing.
Open to Hope was founded by the Horsley Family in memory of Scott Horsley and his cousin, Matthew, who died together at age 17 in a motor vehicle accident. Their loss became the catalyst for building Open to Hope into a global community where bereaved people could, in the words of the foundation’s President, Dr. Gloria Horsley, “lean on our hope until you find your own.”
With this award, The Compassionate Friends is proud to recognize the Horsley Family and Staff of The Open to Hope Foundation for their unwavering commitment to serving the bereaved through rigorous research, empathetic counsel, and a drive to give voice to all those willing to share hope after loss.
Grandparent Award
David Dieterle is BB’s Papa. His granddaughter, Briellynn Bullard, passed from cancer at the age of 4 on March 6, 2014. That summer David’s daughter, Laura and son-in-law Trey attended their first TCF National Conference in Chicago. When David asked Laura about the conference, she responded “Dad, it wasn’t long enough.” She told him there were sessions for grandparents and asked him to join them the following year. David’s TCF journey began the following year in Dallas.
David continued to attend TCF National Conferences and at the 2018 Conference he noticed that the TCF Board of Directors had an exhibit table with a sign asking for anyone interested in joining the TCF Board of Directors to leave their name and phone number. David, having been in non-profit executive management for 20 years, left his name and number. He had no idea that a relatively small decision would lead to such an incredible journey. Next thing David knew, he was elected and attending his first Board of Directors meeting.
At his first in-person Board meeting, David was selected as the Treasurer of the Board. For the next five years, he had the honor of serving as the Board Treasurer and Chair of the Finance Committee. These were during changing times for TCF and David was proud to be a member of that wonderful team that directed TCF through many obstacles as TCF changed from looking behind to envisioning the future.
Chapter Leadership Award
Bernadette Schendel, whose daughter Ashley passed away in 2009, found solace in TCF shortly thereafter as she grappled with her grief. Her members are astounded by her remarkable journey, both as a member and as a leader. Currently, Bernadette serves as a co-leader alongside her husband, Robin, at the Minnesota Chapter of TCF.
Her responsibilities encompass coordinating and planning all the chapter’s programs. Notably, they organize a Pot Luck Memorial Program in collaboration with the World Wide Candle Lighting. Additionally, Bernadette actively participates in and reviews training sessions to enhance her facilitation of monthly meetings.
Her compassionate nature shines through as she reaches out to members who are struggling, offering them the support they need. Bernadette works at the Mankato, MN Clinic and volunteers with her church. Given her daughter’s special needs, she also engages in various community activities in the area. As a token of her appreciation for her contributions to the chapter, the Mankato, MN Clinic, where she works, regularly donates to their chapter.
All these endeavors are driven by Bernadette’s unwavering love and memory of her daughter, Ashley. We proudly congratulate her on her Chapter Leadership Award.
Chapter Leadership Award
We are so proud to award the Chapter Leadership Award to Sharon Staniforth. Sharon and her husband Jim became involved in TCF after the death of their daughter Jill in a motor vehicle accident in 1991. She became Chapter Leader of the Madison Area Chapter, Madison, WI in 1999. They both served in various roles in the chapter, currently including the position of Regional Coordination for the state of WI. They attended the TCF National Conferences for fifteen years, bringing home many innovative ideas each time they attended. Sharon Credits her experiences as a registered nurse and team nursing concepts which helped her to incorporate the strengths of each steering committee member and their skills to work together to fulfill the mission of TCF.
Not forgetting the vision of TCF “………. of those who find us will be helped”. Sharon believed in a follow-up personal phone call and a personal letter to each new member. Her passion was giving those new members that time and private space to just talk one on one. It opened conversation, shared true compassion, and helped to establish deeper connection to the motto “we need not walk alone.”
Sharon and her husband Jim were also members of the TCF Foundation, which was established to ensure that TCF would always be here for bereaved parents.
Sharon continues to work with the Madison Chapter by making photo buttons and accepting phone calls to encourage the bereaved who need to hear that they ARE MAKING PROGRESS. Her certifications in professional life coaching and grief support specialist training are helpful when making those calls.
Sharon continues to support the Chapter in loving memory of her daughter and recently her husband, Jim, always remembering that love is the ultimate and love never fades. It just grows and grows within our hearts.
Chapter Leadership Award
Debbie Zabukovec found the TCF Pensacola, Florida Chapter in 2006 and embarked on her grief journey following the passing of her son, Ben. Since then, she has emerged as the face and voice of the Chapter. Debbie has made invaluable contributions to the Chapter in numerous ways, serving as chapter leader three times, assistant chapter leader, and co-chapter leader.
Debbie has meticulously planned and led various events, including candle lighting services, the annual “boat floats,” and the annual “Walk to Remember.” Her responsibilities encompass ordering supplies, printing programs, creating and presenting a slide show for the candle lighting, and overseeing the distribution of the newsletters. Additionally, she manages phone calls for newly bereaved individuals and maintains contact with local law enforcement to ensure their contact information is up-to-date and receives consults from them. She also assists the treasurer with the year-end reporting process.
Beyond her administrative duties, Debbie actively engages with the newly bereaved. She meets them regularly for lunch or coffee and is always available for a phone call to provide emotional support. She assists in identifying resources that cater to the specific needs of the Chapter.
Debbie’s contributions extend far beyond these examples. She offers a compassionate ear, a shoulder to lean on, and shares her personal story with fellow bereaved individuals. Her unwavering commitment to attending meetings regularly provides hope, guidance, and wisdom to those who are newly bereaved.
All of Debbie’s actions are in loving memory of her son, Ben. It is our distinct honor to present Debbie Zabukovec with our Chapter Leadership Award for 2026.
Chapter Leadership Award
In 1998, Lisa Cohen discovered the Abington, PA TCF Chapter after the passing of her sister, Shari, in 1997. As a bereaved sibling, she dedicated herself to assisting the chapter. Lisa’s exceptional organizational skills are evident in her contributions to the chapter’s activities.
Her leadership qualities were evident when she assumed the role of Chapter Leader in 2014 and returning many times as leader when needed by the chapter. Under her guidance, the chapter organized the annual butterfly release and walk to remember, as well as the candle lighting ceremony and slideshow of loved ones. Additionally, she initiated a monthly Zoom meeting to provide additional support for those who may face challenges attending in-person meetings.
Lisa’s commitment extends beyond the chapter. She actively participates in the Sibling Group at the Annual TCF National Conference, assisting with conference setup and fundraising efforts. Her compassion and understanding towards each member of the sibling group are unwavering, as she recognizes and appreciates their unique circumstances.
Lisa Cohen’s continued involvement with both the Abington TCF Chapter and the Sibling Group at the TCF National Conference serves as a testament to her dedication and work ethic. Her contributions are made in loving memory of her sister, Shari.
We are honored to present Lisa Cohen with the Chapter Leadership Award for 2026.
Chapter Leadership Award
Vivian and Tom Gano, after the untimely passing of their son Curtis in 1986, was told about TCF. Initially, like many others, they believed they could navigate their grief independently. However, they soon realized the necessity of support. They joined the Camden County, NJ Chapter, the oldest chapter in New Jersey, with a rich history spanning 47 years. Initially, they simply listened to the presentations. Their primary responsibility was to manage the chapter’s books, which couldn’t be left at the building. Consequently, they had to take them home, ensuring their attendance at each meeting.
Vivian eventually became the Chapter Leader when the previous leader departed, and no one else was willing to take over. Driven by the chapter’s significance to them, both wanted this support to continue for other bereaved parents. Vivian has stepped back as Chapter Leader three times, ensuring the chapter’s survival. Twenty-five years ago, the chapter treasurer retired, and Tom took over the role, which he continues to this day.
In 1990, Tom and Vivian attended their inaugural TCF National Conference. This year’s conference in Baltimore marks the 25th time they have attended. Moreover, they have participated in the 25th and 50th International TCF Conferences. The 25th conference stands out as their most memorable one, as it took place at the very location where TCF was founded, and all the original founders were present.
Curtis, Tom, and Vivian’s son, was an organ donor who saved four lives and helped a few others through tissue donation. In 2000, Tom retired and began educating high school students about organ and tissue donation. When Vivian retired, she joined him, and since 2001, they have spoken to over 300,000 high school students in their area. They will be facilitating a sharing session on Organ Donation during this conference. Both Tom and Vivian received a 2012 award from the United Network for Organ Sharing for their efforts in educating people about organ donation.
In 2021, Tom and Vivian also became bereaved grandparents when their daughter miscarried her daughter, their granddaughter.
It is our great honor to award Tom and Vivian the Chapter Leadership Award for all their work and dedication to TCF, which was done in loving memory of their son, Curtis, and now their granddaughter, Penny.
Karen Snepp Sibling Award
Chris Lourenco’s life was forever changed when his two brothers, Zach and Alex, tragically succumbed to electrocution in a boating accident when Chris was only nine years old. Witnessing the entire incident with his father, Chris found solace and understanding at the TCF National Conference in 2005, where he connected with other siblings who shared his grief.
Over the years, Chris has consistently attended TCF National Conferences, where he formed meaningful relationships with fellow siblings. These connections have empowered him to navigate his grief and embrace his role as a bereaved sibling. As a dedicated volunteer with TCF, Chris has contributed in various capacities, consistently demonstrating exceptional representation in each area of his involvement.
Chris has actively participated in workshops, panel discussions, and currently serves as a Facebook moderator for the Sudden Loss page. In 2018, he was honored as a keynote speaker at the TCF National Conference. Recently, he has completed a six-year term on the TCF Board of Directors, during which he served as Treasurer for two years.
Chris continues to honor his brothers, Zach and Alex, through his unwavering commitment to TCF. We are deeply honored to present Chris Lourenco with the Karen Snepp Outstanding Sibling Award for 2026.
Online Moderator Award
Following the tragic loss of her daughter, Allison, in a drunk driver accident in 2001, Barbara did not initially discover The Compassionate Friends (TCF). However, the TCF organization reached out to her. A bereaved mother contacted Barbara, briefly explaining the mission of the TCF organization and inviting her to a chapter support group meeting. The timing of this outreach proved crucial, as Barbara recounted, “I was on the brink of death from the excruciating pain.” Through their presence and shared experiences at the meeting, Barbara gained the confidence that she could endure. As she continued attending the Lehigh Valley Chapter in Allentown, Pennsylvania, she also re-established the Quakertown Chapter in 2003, where she continues to serve in leadership roles.
Barbara’s involvement with TCF extended beyond her local chapter. She volunteered at the 2005 Eastern Pennsylvania Regional TCF Conference, attended her inaugural TCF National Conference in Arlington, Virginia, in 2010, and has consistently participated in subsequent TCF National conferences.
Similarly, a TCF Facebook Group found Barbara. Seven years after her daughter Allison’s passing, Barbara’s son, Chris, returned from his third deployment to Iraq. Tragically, he took his own life in 2008. In 2015, Barbara was encouraged to join the TCF – Loss to Suicide Facebook page. Within weeks of joining the group, she assumed the role of administrator and moderator. At that time, the group had approximately 300 members and has steadily grown to over 6,600 members during Barbara’s nearly 11 years of moderating. She also serves as the moderator for her chapter’s Facebook group and Facebook page.
Barbara’s volunteer work for TCF is dedicated to the loving memory of her children, Allison and Chris. It is with great honor that we present Barbara with the On-Line Moderator Award for 2026.
Online Moderator Award
Ranj Reddy was born to be her son, Sameer’s, Mother. When her son was diagnosed with cancer, her world narrowed only to him. All her energy was poured into caring for him, thus they were deeply bonded. She honestly believed her purpose in life was to raise a good man and help him survive cancer. That purpose ended when her child died. Since Sameer was her only child, Ranj, like many bereaved parents, questioned why she was still here. Having no living children placed Ranj in a small and invisible community, the loss of your only child or all your children. It was so hard for Ranj to feel understood by people who had never experienced the loss of a child.
Ranj found comfort through TCF’s on-line Facebook pages. They soon became a community for her. She met parents grieving their only child or all their children, all parents who were walking a terribly similar path as Ranj. She eventually became a moderator for the TCF Loss of an Only Child/All Your Children Facebook page. Ranj states that “being part of TCF has helped me feel less alone in my pain and in living a life that turned out so differently than I had ever imagined”. Serving as a moderator gave her a purpose at a time when she felt lost. Ranj still misses her son Sameer every single day, but when she encourages another parent or responds with kindness to a post from a member in the group, she steps outside her own sorrow for a moment. In helping others carry their grief, Ranj feels a little less alone in carrying her own grief.
Ranj’s work for TCF is done in loving memory of her son, Sameer. Awarding Ranj the 2026 On-Line Moderator Award is indeed an honor for TCF.
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