Memorial Wall Post

Hi my beautiful daughter, my Rosie. I was glad that I could see you and Nanay today. I will always cry at least in the beginning, in the middle, and in the end. Again because you shouldn’t be forever sleeping. You should actually be with us- on your phone or partying with friends or T. E and K and her mom visited you a few days ago. I think I mentioned that. Also, your friends are no longer friends- fr Sac. I’m sad but I’m grateful that for however length of time their friendship was that you were able to reconnect. I’m glad you don’t have to be in the middle of it. I might have stayed longer today but I was already stressed thinking that I would have to drive far in the rain. I asked you to not let me have to and I didn’t. Thank you for that. One good thing that’s gone my way. What do you think of my hats/ headband? I like creating them. Thinking of a name for my collection. I didn’t get the chance to finish cleaning. I’m with kuya, hanging out with him so he’s not alone and so I can get rest. He is still the only one who will massage my legs- they’ve been hurting. Your other kuya left this morning. I don’t have too much to say except this year has been one of the hardest to live through since you left. I don’t like having to feel that I have to explain/defend my feelings, suggest things to your siblings, and or act certain ways so that people aren’t that uncomfortable when I’m around. I do believe that people need should have an idea what to say or not say when it comes to addressing how someone may or may not feel. That’s how it will be as long as people know that you’re not here. I carry pictures of you and I don’t see myself changing that. I’m getting a new phone tomorrow- tracfone. I don’t want to deal with any other phones. Help me to help your kuya and myself be healthy weight wise. I don’t want to deal with a new year. Really I don’t. However, I will be taking at least 2 classes. Probably won’t attend group for a bit because I need to watch my sad. I want my face to look a bit better, not sad as I don’t wear masks everywhere. Will visit you each week or 2 depending how I feel and bring kuya once a month. Will work on you room starting next week, hopefully. Continue to gather donations from the house or put in the free pile. And then I will work on albums, continue to crochet and add another craft- either jewelry, clay, drawing or painting. Plenty to choose. Plenty to do. Anyways, I miss you more every day you’re not here. I know you can hear me and you know what I want. It would be good to hear from you somehow. I love, love, love, you always. Hugs and kisses.

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