While most others love summer for its daytime pleasures, such as beach time, golf, picnics and other family outings, personally, I like it at night… on my deck after most others have long gone to bed. I gaze at the silhouettes of the trees against a cloudless sky, with a sliver of moon and glistening stars as a backdrop, and watch the fireflies dance and illuminate the blackness. My senses are heightened as I listen to the tinkle of the wind chimes in the evening breeze, the gentle hum of the overworked air conditioner after a blistering hot day, the hypnotic chorus of crickets, and the mournful wail of a train whistle off in the distance.
There is nothing like fireworks on the 4th of July (or any summer night, for that matter). Despite the noise, something about the “rockets red glare” makes me smile; brings back memories of more innocent times, not only my own childhood 4ths, but my own children at the yearly fireworks displays; the ooohs and aaahs as their eyes lit up at the beautiful sights…in those years long past, when we were a whole family altogether…long before we were…not.
There was a period of time in my life that I felt no pleasure in anything…and never thought I would ever find anything to give me peace ever again. However, the stillness of the evenings now, more often than not, bring a sense of calm and peace to the end of an often-hectic day. As a bereaved mom in the earlier years of my grief journey, I felt more serene in the dark of the night where the realities of life then felt less harsh and glaring. Though sometimes through my tears, depending on the moment, I’d lie on my back and peer into the heavens and attempt to fathom the enormity of the universe – wondering what lies beyond the celestial bodies. And I’d think about Nina… if, in her new life, she now had an up close and personal view of Saturn’s rings. Or was she here beside me one minute with the ability in the next to be perched in the “W” of Cassiopeia, her favorite constellation? Had my precious teenage daughter been to the top of the Eiffel Tower, looking down on Paris as she had dreamed to do one day? Or was my police officer son, Chris, still guarding over the city he patrolled and still watching over it now from a whole different dimension.
I like to believe that they both have and still do. and the tranquility of a summer night gives my body rest, and my mind the opportunity to ponder the wonder of it all and let hopeful thoughts enter in and push aside some of the darker ones.
I hope you give yourself the gift of a peaceful summer night – and that you are able to eventually search for and then – in your own time – find comforting and love-filled memories in the experience.
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