“That Room” Becomes Home

The setting is a little strange. “That Room” is longer than it is square. The chairs are in an oblong circle, boxes of tissue are strategically placed. Someone has made coffee and there are brownies or a cake—and all the pictures. 

Sometimes you will walk into “that room” feeling as weak as a kitten, and sometimes as strong as a bull. No matter how you’re feeling when you see all those chairs, you think: “It’s not possible; there can’t be that many people who feel the way I feel!” But little by little you watch the chairs fill in. 

It’s like being at your house with company, EXCEPT this room is a safe haven. You feel secure, and there’s a warm feeling in the room—the comfort of being accepted. Here, you won’t be judged by other people. It is safe to take off your mask and let your feelings show, to share your thoughts. Here you get an understanding smile and feel the comfort of a “meant” hug—the warmth of someone who really wants to know how you are doing, instead of asking: “Are you still dealing with this?” or “You’re still going to those meetings?” 

Here, you are accepted for the person you have become. You won’t hear: “I liked the old you better,” or “I want the old you back,” or “You’re not fun anymore.” In “that room” they understand the “new” you who has survived the WORST thing that life can hand a person. 

Before you know it, “that room” is more comfortable than any place you can think of. I’ve been walking into this room for 12 1/2 years now, and it is full of people who know me better and are closer to me than my own family. They became my “new” friends, my “new” family. What I have learned and shared with my new family has changed the pain I carry. They taught me how to put my life back together, how to go on. 

I will always miss my beautiful daughter, Sara; I will never forget her, and yes, my life will go on.  

“That room” has become home.

Contributed by Mardy Burns ~ TCF, Independence, MO

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Comments (3)

  • This is what i need. I only made one meeting and family made me feel it would keep me from moving forward. There is no forward losing my Son. I want to come back to the meetings. I need to take off that mask and be with those who understand. It is so lonely

  • Hello there

    My name is Mary Day and I am the chapter leader for RENO Nv.
    I was wondering if I could use all or part of the amazing writing for our message in our newsletter giving full credit to the author ???
    Thank you so much
    My email

  • We have been without my beautiful boy for 20 years. He has become a brother-in-law and an uncle.His loss changed the rest of all our lives.Without Compassionate friends and walking into”that room” I would not be writing this. I pray for all of you,my brothers and sisters.My Timmy is with our Creator and each of your children. Cathie

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