Throughout the month of December, we are recording individuals and their personal messages of hope. By the end of the month, there will be “31 Messages of Hope” for all to review and learn from. After losing a child at any age from any cause, it is difficult to think of hope. Because the world as we knew it and expected it to be has been turned upside down, grasping even a glimmer of hope can be an enormous challenge.
After our son drowned, I knew there were things to be thankful for in my life. We all know; however, it is not easy to be thankful when your child, brother, sister, or grandchild has died. Grief work is hard work. We struggle to muster strength needed to understand what happened and determine how to go on living.
In listening to each individual message of hope, commonalities among the messages can be heard. Frequently, individuals and couples speak about feelings of initial confusion and not knowing how to go on or what to do next. The need to talk with others about our loss becomes strong as we move through the initial days and week, even months. Repeatedly, it is stated that they learned helping others is healing.
The certainty with The Compassionate Friends is that no one need walk alone. Even though our losses are uniquely different, our journeys through grief are similar. No one begins the journey knowing how to go on, but all can find their way with the help, whether in person or online, of each other.
I believe hope is a choice. It is not a choice that can be made early in our grief, but we can and must choose hope in order to survive in our new normal. No one can escape loss or the uninvited guest of grief, but all can eventually choose hope. If you are having difficulty in making a choice of hope, please watch the “31 Messages of Hope” to hear how others found hope and how they are reaching out to help you. If you have already made the choice for hope, share your personal message of hope to help others on our Wall of Hope.
Tony’s mom, Debbie
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