My grandmother was a teacher and published author who instilled in me an admiration for those who can write well. Entering college as an English major my intent was to become a journalist, but my education was put on hold when I married and, due to an unexpected tribulation, spent most of the next seventeen years single-handedly supporting and raising two sons. During this period of time I attended night school earning a BA degree and, when the boys were grown, became a self-employed investment advisor and insurance broker. During all those years I found putting my thoughts down on paper to be a source of peace, but I didn’t expect my writings to be of interest to anyone else. In 2003 I experienced the greatest tragedy of my life when my youngest son, Zachary Owen Ward, was killed in a motorcycle accident. It was three years before I could write again and when I did the pain gushed out in the form of poetry. After other bereaved parents read my poems and found them helpful, I was encouraged to publish and share them in the form of a book, a book I entitled Why? Why? Why?
In addition to my being a published author, I’m also a watercolorist. It was important that any illustrations associated with Why? Why? Why? relate my thoughts and feelings, and so I created the cover and two paintings within the book. It was also important to me that the book not simply be another story of loss, but rather it reflects in addition to loss and grief the healing that can gradually occur. Placement of my poems describes a journey over a period of years from living each day in a depression so deep as to remove all color from my sight, to an emergence from the darkness with a keen desire to help others do the same. My poems are meant to bring hope to those who learn that they are not alone and that they too can adapt to the new world in which they live.
I could not publish a book about my own loss, grief, and healing without acknowledging the power of meeting other bereaved parents through The Compassionate Friends (TCF). I’ve shared information about TCF in the book’s Preface, and two of my poems are dedicated to TCF chapter facilitators.
Following the publication of Why? Why? Why? I was invited to join a writer’s group and encouraged to write fiction. After starting on a short story, I was told you can write! In 2016 I approached my husband, Bruce Cockerham, with the idea of my writing a murder mystery if he would review my work for accuracy with respect to the law enforcement references. He agreed, and our joint effort resulted in Murder On The Oregon Coast, the first book in my Detectives O’Toole and Starker murder mystery series. The second book, Murder On the Wind, has, like the first, been well received and I’m currently working on book number three.
Bruce is my technical consultant for the law enforcement references within the series. He’s a retired police captain with thirty years’ experience in law enforcement. He has worked in patrol, traffic, detectives, SWAT, and administration and also worked as an academy instructor. He trained with the FBI as a counter sniper and is a graduate of both the California Command College and the FBI National Academy. Bruce holds a BA from Whitworth University and an MDiv from San Francisco Theological Seminary.
I’m sometimes asked why, after a book on loss, grief, and healing, and a couple of children’s books, I now write murder mysteries? It’s a question to which I respond, why not? I love a good mystery, and after twenty years of marriage to a now-retired police captain, I acquired great admiration for those in law enforcement who daily deal with society’s problems on behalf of the rest of us. My emphasis in writing this series is on the mystery, and the reader will find no graphic descriptions of murders. I want to write so that my teenage granddaughter can enjoy my books.
What I discovered after completing Murder On The Oregon Coast was that writing for me is very healing. My awareness of this reaction to writing has continued through the completion of the second book and now with the third in the series. I’ve found that whether it was my poetry following Zach’s death or my current mystery series, the concentration and focus that are required in order to write well have been beneficial to my continued adaptation to this world in which my son no longer physically exists.
I now share with other bereaved my love of writing and the healing benefit it offers in a workshop called Healing Through The Written Word. Just as I have benefited personally from facilitating monthly chapter meetings and the many workshops I’ve given for TCF National, I’ve also continued to heal by helping others learn to discover and express their thoughts and feelings through writing about a subject of interest.
I stopped asking Why? a long time ago but I will never stop missing my son. I know that whether it’s yoga, meditation or writing, concentrating on something that provides pleasure and a moment of calm in life can allow us to control, rather than be controlled by our thoughts, and this is a key not just for survival but survival with a purpose.
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Dear Georgia,
I lost my Son, Matthew, 5 years ago July 27th and for the past three years I have felt there was a book inside of me. I have recently started writing it and basically it is about my Son’s life with some lessons thrown in. I do not know if anything will come of Matthew’s story but I have found it very therapeutic writing it. I have lived over some many wonderful memories and some not so great but memories still. I am the keeper of his memories and all his stories. I am still writing his story and at the point where it is the most difficult to write but I feel necessary to get it all out. I would love some advise from an accomplished write like yourself.
Pam, Matthew’s Mom.
Pam,
I am so sorry for your loss of Matthew.
Please forgive me for not responding sooner. My husband has been quite ill and I’m afraid I had not checked for responses to my blog until now.
I think it’s wonderful that you are wanting to write about Matthew and I’d be privileged to assist as I can. Please contact me using my professional website address, colorandwordsbygeorgia@gmail.com.
Thank you for your response to my blog, Pam. I look forward to our continued correspondence.
Georgia
G. A. Cockerham
colorandwordsbygeorgia.com