Grateful While Grieving

It is difficult to join in on Thanksgiving thankfulness when it crashes upon me. Grief is my uninvited guest; not just the holidays, but every day. Our core family changed. It sometimes feels like I have been knocked to the ground, and while sprawled there gasping for air, the rest of the world is celebrating this or that. Have they no clue that my child died?

Luckily, I do not feel like that every day. The days I do feel like that are fewer than they were initially. Our lives, as we knew them, no longer exist. As bad as the bad days are, you can still be grateful while grieving.

While we can be grateful, it is a task. Like so many things we did automatically, we must learn what grateful feels like in this “new normal”. While it may be difficult, especially for those early in the grief journey, it is not impossible.

Below are some actions to take that may help you feel grateful:

  1. Spend purposeful time thinking about good memories.
  2. Focus on those who help rather than those who don’t.
  3. Hear a person’s intent rather than their words.
  4. Acknowledge your loved one was in your life (and continues to be so).
  5. Identify lessons learned from your loved one.

I would, just as all, prefer to have my child back, but I know it cannot happen. This season, I am thankful to be Tony’s Mom and thankful for the stories of your loved ones that you have shared with me and with your compassionate friends.

Tony’s mom, Debbie

Debbie Rambis

Debbie Rambis

Find a Local Chapter

Use the chapter locator to find out information about chapters in your area. Locate a Chapter by selecting your state and zip code.

Sign Up for the Compassionate Friends Newsletter

1000 Jorie Blvd., Suite 140, Oak Brook, Illinois 60523

  • Phone: 630.990.0010
  • Toll Free: 877.969.0010
  • Fax: 630.990.0246
© 2019 The Compassionate Friends. Privacy Policy
This site was donated by the Open to Hope Foundation in loving memory of Scott Preston Horsley.
BBB Accredited Charity Best America Independent Charities of America 2012 Top Ten Grief & Loss