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For the New Year

Instead of the old kind of New Year’s resolutions we used to make and break, let’s make some this year and really try to keep them.

  1. Let’s not try to imagine the future – take one day at a time.
  2. Allow yourself time to cry, both alone, and with your loved ones.
  3. Don’t shut out other family members from your thoughts and feelings. Share these difficult times. You may all become closer for it.
  4. Try to be realistic about your expectations – of yourself, your spouse, other family members and friends. Each of us is an entity, therefore different. So how can there be perfect understanding?
  5. When a good day comes, relish it – don’t feel guilty and don’t be discouraged when it doesn’t last. It WILL come again and multiply.
  6. Take care of your health. Even though the mind might not care, a sick body will only compound your troubles. Drink lots of water and take stress-type multiple vitamins, rest (even if you don’t sleep), and get moderate exercise. Help your body heal, as well as your mind.
  7. Share your feelings with other Compassionate Friends (or other groups you may choose) and let them share with you.

As you find you are caring about the pain of others, you are starting to come out of your shell – a very healthy sign. I know following these suggestions won’t be easy. But it’s worth a try, don’t you think? Nothing to lose and perhaps much to gain.

Mary Ehmann, TCF, Valley Forge, PA 

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