It has been 16 years since my only child died, but this will be my 17th Christmas without his unique enthusiasm, anticipation, and happiness at the prospect of the holiday season. After two rocky attempts to handle the holiday season, I…
“A scholarship fund? Sure, that sounds like a great idea,” I mumbled, not fully comprehending what it might involve. We were writing the obituary for our son, Chris, and we just wanted to offer people an option to donate to…
When I worked with children and families who had experienced trauma, life-threatening illness, or loss, I often found that asking people to “tell their story” was a helpful way to begin our conversation. One night, I went to visit with…
My son Louis was 15 when he was killed on that cold, yet sunny December 20, 1993. Louis was going to a Christmas party for the group he belonged to called Teens Against Gang Violence and was caught in the…
The last place you want to be is in a room full of people, where they divide you into the following groups: Only Child, Long-Term Illness, Siblings, Overdose—and my personal favorite—Sudden Death. We had already gone around the wide circle…
Having attended 19 National Conferences of The Compassionate Friends (TCF) in a row — from Portland in 1999 to St. Louis in 2018 — I have presented, co-presented or been a panelist on workshops for 17. I was asked by…
The holidays are coming and I’m not ready. Everything seems to sparkle and there is always so much to do! It is a festive time, filled with joyous occasions and family gatherings. But when your family circle has been broken by…
One loss does not prepare you for another. My father passed away last week. He was 77 years old. He had a pacemaker, a bevy of unhealthy habits, and an assortment of health issues. And none of that made his loss…
Isn’t it interesting how often we speak of our failing memories associated with deep grief, but at the same time have the sharpest recollection of certain moments woven in with the loss of our children? The remembrance of what was…
It was November 13, 1988, when I experienced the most horrific, unthinkable and unimaginable event that changed my life forever. My son Michael, at age 16, died violently in an automobile accident. I’m sharing this with you because being a…
