A Ritual for Gatherings with Family or Friends

Invite your family and/or friends to do a mourning ritual with you.

Gather around a table with a candle in the center

After the candle is lit, everyone thinks about two things to share out loud with the rest

The first is a poignant memory to pour out of your heart

Or something that still worries you about the death

The second thing to think about and share is a happy memory about the one that died

Something that will always make you happy or laugh when you think about it

When everyone is ready with their two memories or thoughts to share

Take turns telling what they are

After everyone is finished talking

Decide on someone (or more than one) to blow out the candle

As the smoke begins to rise, read the following:


As the smoke rises from this candle, we celebrate ________________

Thank you for being a part of our memories.

We will carry you in our hearts as we go through this holiday season (or whatever the occasion)

You are a part of our family yesterday, today and forever

We love you

(Author Unknown)

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Comments (2)

  • Love this, Cathy! Will try next year because I will need to prepare my family. I know this time is hard for you as for me, lots of tears. Love and thanks for all you do for us. Merry Christmas!

    • Thank you so much for such a lovely message, Cindy. And, yes, despite the years, though we cope much better with each one, we will miss them on these special days forever, and every day. I try to do what Darcie told us: “May love be what we remember the most.” Love and much gratitude for all you do too for all of us, Cindy. Wishing you a gentle and blessed, hopeful and healthy 2020!

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